Tuesday 18 April 2017


I like reading old posts on my blog here for many reasons.  Sometimes you find yourself giving advice or help you need to yourself without knowing it, or you start to realise things.  I thought about this the other day when watching Grace and Frankie, and I know how much blogging can help sometimes.  Blogging can also be a cause of a lot of issues too, we've all seen the accounts where people like to post picture perfect images that have all been carefully selected and retouched for what? To get more followers? To present this unrealistic idea of how we think others lead their lives when reflecting it back to us thinking, oh i wish i was him/her, oh i wish i had that body, the list goes on and it's driving me insane.  Even i'm a fool to this, why do I, like so many let myself get tricked into this?  We see snapshots of peoples lives and for some reason we create these fully rounded people in our heads.  We don't know their personality, and sure they can post videos, but these are also edited.  I like to see people when they are totally taken off guard, and their just being themselves without them subconsciously editing the way they come across from someone.
Sure I love to post a selfie now and then, sometimes I do it just because I want to check myself in the mirror if i'm presentable to the guy who's about to serve my in the corner shop, then I think oh i actually look ok here.
To some degree we all have issues with our looks, but we never seem to assume that other people do too.  A lot of the time I assume people know how good looking they are, so why would I say it all the time? And why would they get so happy or give someone so much attention for complimenting them?
Maybe I'm living in a dream world, I just don't understand.  If you've been in a relationship with someone and they have loved you unconditonally and you the same then why would you doubt yourself...

I've ended up deleting a huge chunk of this post, no matter how general I talk about something, it's just not the same.  It's pointless, which is exactly how I'm feeling now.  I feel like i've joined a game of Chess mid way through, and since I have no idea how to play the game, I have 0 ideas of what my next move should be, or if it's just game over.  At the same time looking at the positives maybe i've won the game, which is definitely not the outcome, but if I have then I never want to play again.